Clare's Blogg

My Blogg for my family and friends

Monday, January 23, 2012

I just have to say....

Disclaimer: I have written about an incident at my mum’s wake, however, I have not gone into details about the incident. Please do not read this if it may upset you. It may raise issues for some people however, it is not intended to offend anyone but hopefully will provide understanding. This is how I feel and is my feelings alone, I created this blog as an outlet for my thoughts and emotions that have been around since my mother passed away, this is something I need to say so I can move on.

I need to express some feelings relating to my mum’s wake and what has been said about me and my family. I am not going to discuss the incident and what occurred, as this is not what this blog is about. It is more about providing an understanding of what happened in the days and weeks prior to my mum passing away.

What happened to me at my mum’s wake has changed me as a person. It hurt me beyond words can describe and left me questioning myself and who to trust. However, the one thing I am certain of is that my family and I acted and adhered to my mother’s last wishes down to the last second. We did everything to make her comfortable in her last days and allowed her to pass away with the dignity and respect she wanted and deserved.

Although my mum was extremely sick and in unimaginable pain, she was consulted about every aspect of her care and well-being. She was informed of every person who made contact with us and her, she knew everyone cared and was thinking and praying for her and who wanted to visit her. Nothing was kept from her and she understood everything that was going on around her. She made all decisions surrounding her health and “social” activity. She knew everything and we left it to her to decide what she wanted and what she could handle in those days, we respected those decisions and passed on her choices to the relevant people.

It was not an easy time for my mother, although she was a very public person and had so much love to give, she was very private in her suffering. She had suffered with her health for a number of years but portrayed herself as a healthy, happy, confident lady and full of life, as she was a very dignified person. She often got frustrated at herself when she did not feel 100%, but never let it stop her. There were certain things that happened in her life she just did not want to share with everyone.

I am very confident and happy with how my mummy was treated in the last few days of her life and I know she was as well. I know she knew that people cared and wanted to see her, however, she decided she could not do this. Although her whole life was about helping others, this one time she finally did what she wanted and what was best for her at the time. I know we carried out her wishes to a tee and allowed her to live her final days the way she wanted. I know I would not change a thing.

I just want people to understand this, it was simply about my mummy and what she wanted.

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